Fangirling

Thoroughly obsessed with the New Three Kingdom series. The plot is good, of course. But the best part is the relationship between this pair: www.tudou.com/programs/view/wozBKBwco5M 


It's been said that the inherent imbalance of power between the ruler/subject dyad creates a relationship based on oppression, much like the parent/child, man/woman, etc. But to me, only two healthy, integrated souls can surrender so completely and beautifully to each other. 

Dusk is the cruelest hour.

Wave after wave of emotion surged in his heart, a cold bursting ocean of worries, fears and small sadnesses lapping against the shoreline, assaulting his last defenses. There were a thousand words to exchange, a thousand whispered counsels...that clamored to be heard, insistent, urgent, desperate. But in the end, he only found it in himself to say: Please do take care. As temperate as water. Betraying no trace of the brewing storm within. As always.

The wind had picked up slightly. He watched them leave, his figure obscured by the rising dust.

(Really must resist the temptation to succumb to wordy melodrama. Stamp it out!)

情绪如潮水般在他的心里涨起, 向他席卷而来, 一波一波, 汹涌不绝. 要冲溃最后的防线. 有千种叮嘱, 万般担忧, 但最后话到嘴边的时候, 只得一句: 多多保重. 平淡如水.

起风了. 他遥望着. 飞扬的尘土模糊了身影.

I love 方文山's lyrics

落花在亭外 又依稀了几番

The fallen flowers outside the pavilion
Have faded and bloomed again for how many cycles?

Hmm, still not precise enough.

出太阳却仍是灰蒙蒙的天, 半明半昧, 象一床盖得太紧的被子, 有些压抑. 有点让我回忆到小时候每个周末都要光顾的渥伦中国城. 一家子, 五口人, 乘着经受了很多风吹雨打的二手车, 每次都是大包小包地满载而回. 记忆里的中国城总是阴天. 要么的确是海岸气候影响而阴天居多, 要么是被周围的高楼大厦的阴影遮盖, 所以总是那感觉. 从阴影里走到阳光下, 象是两个世界.

虽然背景是灰暗的, 然而中国城本身却是鲜亮美味的. 小孩子的衣物和手工艺品, 玩具, 均是大红, 水红, 粉红, 鹅黄, 油绿, 那些明丽的颜色. 烧烤店的橱窗里挂着油亮的鸭子, 鹌鹑, 飘出油脂的香甜. 糕饼点心铺子里, 一笼笼巨大的叉烧包, 烧卖, 咧开了笑口. 特别是逢年过节的时候, 街道拥挤喧闹, 匆匆的, 欢乐的人群. 在寒风里, 在这块异国的土地上, 为自己找一个家.  爆炸的色彩, 杯盏的声音, 诚然是欢喜的. 但是如张爱玲形容的, "欢喜到了极处, 又有一种凶犷的悲哀."

Moods have a life and mind of their own. They are catlike creatures, coming and going as they please, without a care for their owner's preference.

The stories in my heart are like mercurial, chimerical dream beasts that swim in deep lagoon waters, occasionally surfacing, and a few slivers of their scales catch the sunlight, but they soon disappear into the darkness once again.

想写,怕写得不好,自己也不忍卒睹. 然而越怕越不敢落笔, 越不敢写越惧怕, 于是成为恶性循环. 开始一个博客, 也是为督促自己. 有时候心里有一个故事, 却感觉像是水底的或丑陋或美丽的怪兽, 形象模糊. 只有偶尔捕捉到浮在水面上的一鳞半爪, 收藏起那些一瞬的碎片. 所以这里也当作一个碎片的存放处.

Today is a Winter day that feels like Spring.